


Gentle Touches, Blaise Zabini, and Other Conundrums

by NoExtraordinaryAuthor



Series: Thlaise [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Pre-Relationship, rediscovering gentle touches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 20:31:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12733794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoExtraordinaryAuthor/pseuds/NoExtraordinaryAuthor
Summary: Theodore never had much experience with kindness, so when a newly befriended Blaise Zabini caresses his cheek, Theodore has no idea how to react.orBlaise Zabini finally gets a reaction out of Theodore Nott.





	Gentle Touches, Blaise Zabini, and Other Conundrums

**Author's Note:**

> This is another pre-thlaise one shot. It is also a little angsty, but somewhat softer than my other stories in this series. 
> 
> This takes place after a few months into their friendship and is a glimpse of them trying to figure each other out.
> 
> Full warnings listed in the end note.

His body had never really been his own. From his earliest memories, his father would drag him around as he saw fit, his mother would grab his hands to stop his fidgeting, adults at parties would grab his chin and examine him. 

He had never had bodily autonomy. At Hogwarts, there were no touches. After Theodore's reaction to the first time a prefect had put a hand on him, no one touched him again. No cruel touches, no being forcibly moved, no one controlling his movements. But there were also no kind touches. The last gentle touch he received was when he was nine, the night before his mother died. She had carded her fingers through his hair and soothed him back to sleep. 

Outside of school the touches were the same, though they began increasing in frequency and intensity. A hand around his wrist became a slap, a slap became a beating. He was still dragged to parties and pushed around by adults. Luckily, he was not one of the children who received a certain kind of attention from the adults. Poor Daphne Greengrass had to stop attending the society parties after she was cornered by Avery II. 

Sufficed to say, Theodore had completely lost his ability to process gentle touches by third year when Blaise Zabini caressed his face. 

Zabini had always been a very physical person, touching and flirting with everyone he met. When he had decided to befriend Theodore, he had embarked on a mission to get a reaction out of him. Zabini had tried shameless flirting, lacing every sentence with innuendo. He had tried blatantly sexual touches, massaging Theodore’s inner thigh and biting his ear. 

But those touches had been disingenuous. Designed for a specific purpose and entirely predictable. Theodore knew how to deal with manipulation. He remained unruffled by Zabini’s games, understanding them to be a condition of their friendship. 

They were sitting across from each other in the Slytherin common room studying when Zabini reached over and gently ran his fingers through Theo’s hair. 

The action was completely unexpected, so familiar and yet entirely foreign to him. Theodore temporarily lost his hard-won control. 

A soft sigh escaped his lips. The touch was so gentle, so kind, that it frightened Theodore. He knew how to handle cruelty, indifference, and manipulation. But this was outside of his comfort zone. His body froze and his eyes widened in terror. 

Zabini’s face came alive with interest. He let his hand drift down from where it was tangled in Theodore’s hair to his cheek and gently caressed it. 

Theodore had gained back some of his restraint and managed to stay silent, but he felt his eyes flutter. As Zabini pulled his hand back, his expression turned into one of wonder. Though not as painful as a triumphant look would have been, Theodore could not handle the ache that sparked through his chest. 

Theodore bolted. He was good at running. He was good at hiding. With any luck, he could survive the next four years without ever seeing Blaise again. He could eat in the kitchens and he could sleep in one of the unused classrooms. Classes would be harder, but he could sit right at the front where Blaise would never follow him and he could bolt as soon as class ends. Worst case scenario he could ask Malfoy to make Zabini stay away. 

Malfoy hadn’t talked to him all year, but they had been childhood best friends, and Malfoy had always been protective of Theodore. Though Malfoy would insist on knowing why he was avoiding Zabini. And he’d probably try to convince Theodore to be more mature and cut Zabini out of his life in a more decisive fashion. 

Theodore’s plan worked surprisingly well. When Zabini figured out what was happening he didn’t immediately try to force Theodore to talk to him. He gave him space for the first few days until he grew tired of Theo’s antics. 

Zabini started trying to corner Theo after class and on his way to and from the lavatories. But Theodore was talented at avoiding certain people. He managed to escape Zabini’s clutches for almost an entire week. 

Zabini grabbed him when he was leaving the kitchens and pulled him into an empty corridor. 

“I’ve grown tired of this game, Nott.”

“I’m sorry.” The apology escaped his lips out of habit. He should know better than to apologize by now, it has never helped him escape unscathed. In fact, sometimes his apologies would provoke a more extreme reaction from his father. 

“About what?” Zabini’s eyes were narrowed slightly, but the rest of his face was impassive. 

Theodore scrambled for something. Some answer that would help him. Something that would make Zabini spare him. “You told me not to be an easy target.” That had been years ago, back when Theodore had been unskilled at keeping his emotions reigned in. “I failed your test.”

Because of course it was a test. Everything was a test with Blaise. 

“What? Yeah, you’re going to have to explain this to me, Nott. What are you talking about?”

Zabini was going to make him drag out every detail. He was going to rub it in his face. Theodore would not be getting out unscathed, Blaise wanted him to suffer. 

“In first year. You told me not to be weak. I don’t… I didn’t mean… I failed your test.” Nott kept his eyes lowered in the submissive way that usually helped quell his father’s fury. He also picked at the skin around his wrist, a nervous habit that he had thought his father had beaten out of him.

“Nott, our alliance is not a test. I wasn’t flirting with you to see if you were weak, I was flirting with you because it’s what I do. In fact, I appreciate that you finally reacted – I was beginning to think I had lost my touch.” Zabini smirked. 

Theodore felt as thought the floor had been ripped out from underneath him. “I don’t know why I… I didn’t mean to react. I’m not… I don’t…” Theodore trailed off before he could reveal something that he wasn’t ready to share. 

“Look, I got the hint when you didn’t take me up on my offer to blow you. Just because you reacted once doesn’t change anything. Except that now that I’ve seen you react I’m going to try that much harder to get you to do it again.” Zabini’s smile was charming and his eyes were as genuine as Theodore had ever seen them.

Theodore didn’t know what to do with this information. Zabini didn’t want anything from him. He wasn’t going to take something from him. Logically, Theodore should have known this. Why would Zabini want that from him? Blaise could have anyone he wanted and why would anyone want a broken, unattractive liability. 

Theodore slept in the dorm that night. His bed was next to Zabini’s and he could hear the deep breathing that indicated sleep. Theodore had never been great at keeping a regular sleep schedule, but tonight it was his thoughts that wouldn’t let him sleep, not his fear of what he would encounter in his dreams. 

If Zabini didn’t want that from him, then why were they friends? What was Blaise getting out of this relationship? 

He’s going to leave me. 

The thought sent a jolt of fear through his body. Theodore didn’t know when Blaise had become someone he needed in his life, but he knew that he wouldn’t deal with it well when Zabini decided to move on. Theodore didn’t know how to make Blaise stay, but if he had learned anything from his mother, it was that he should make the most of this gentle attention before it was gone for good. 

If it was any consolation, at least this time it would probably be his own fault when the soft touches disappear.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: referenced child abuse, briefly implied pedophilia, hints of potential non-con.


End file.
